The night before.

Last night I had three odd things happen to me.

1) I was pulled over for speeding (hasn't happened in two years).

2) When I went home late that evening I felt like I had a great weight laying across my entire body. My breathing was labored and I felt like I was really working to draw breath.

3) I had a dream. An odd dream. There was a small bookshel that contained books full of walnuts. The walnuts could be planted and they would grow clone troopers (like in Star Wars Episodes II and III) and I could fight another Clone War with them. I also spent some time as a mute fighter navigating a maze and obstacles.

The result: By morning I felt very...de-pressurized. Like you might see an air-mattress deflated. It was like that. It did not make for a fun day at work. But Alex's house was good. We laughed and talked and it was really a great amount of fun.

I have continually found that no matter what, I am recieved best if I act in an up-front manner. If I put my entire self out there, then I have nothing to regret.

Distracted.

I have never been so unable to focus on a singular task in my life. I can't chat on AIM, I can't speak with my girlfriend on the phone...I'm not even sure I've really been paying attention to anything the entire day long. It's strange. My mind is not at all focused.

See, there's these lines that I imagine whenever I think of a mind being focused. If the mind is a spherical shape, and this spherical shape resides in a box, then the lines that signal a focused mind go from the back corners of the box towards the front in a V shape. The ones on the bottom stay level with their plane and meet in the middle towards the very front of the brain. The lines that start in the top corner meet in the same point, and so they slope down from the top. The mind is focused.

On the other hand, if the mind is not focused on something, but is instead ruminating in a creative manner, then the lines begin at the surface of the sphere and arc out. People that draw, write, and learn make these lines. The more you learn and the more you invest in the creative process, the farther the lines arc out, until they expand well outside the box.

Unlike the previous two, however, when the mind is unfocused and uncreative, the lines do neither of these things. They move inside of the mind and pass through the other side. They arc and twist and move uncontrollably like a water hose set to full blast. It wreaks havoc on the mind and influences thought and action.

My mind is on the third one. Not focused. Not creative. Destructive--but in the most impassive way. My mind shrugs and suddenly I can't hear the first word out of my girlfriend's mouth. My mind yawns and then I can't string two short sentences together.

I'm going to go to bed.

Character writing.

Tonight over AIM, I have been discussing the importance of character personality with some people I have met through old high school friends. It set my mind back to my Wei Wu Wei story and the characters in it. Did you know that I have 2 villians, but only one has a face and a name? The other one kind of floats there in my head. He's tall, thin, with pointed features. He's stern with other leaders, but appears very kind and friendly to the public in general.

I can't come up with a name for him, though. lol. What's in a name?

Firefly MMORPG.

Yes, that's right. If you don't believe me, check this link.

http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,72263-0.html?tw=wn_index_1