Martial Arts in PTC

The Peachtree City Recreation Department offers these martial arts programs:

Goju Karate

Kendo

Tai Chi Chuan

Dalisay Arnis de Escrima

Jujitsu

Judo

I would seriously like to take one of these, but they all sound so good, I don't know which to choose. Too bad I can't choose them all.

Vocation, or something like it.

So today I went to Carrabba's with Father Adam. We sat and discussed a great many things, but along the way, Father kept coming back to the idea that I might enjoy myself as a teacher, and agreed with me on my plans to become a counselor. I told him that I love both of those things: to make people comfortable in their own skins (the counselor) and to show people something that makes them step back and say "Wait a minute!" and then causes them to be passionate, thoughtful, and considerate about whatever endeavor they were undertaking (the teacher).

My Master Yoshi's first rule was "Posess the Right Thinking."

I figure that the best way to get people to learn and to make them more at ease with who they are is to change the way they think. Make them consider possibilities with potential, rather than possibilities that despair. They have to know themselves well, so that they can recognize what they can and cannot do, and what might be possible someday and what will never be possible. That way they can place their efforts into the things that they will enjoy or things that they are compelled to do to see if those things can become something worth doing or having.

I suppose nothing that I'm saying is original, but I have come to these conclusions on my own. I reckon they are worth something because they have at least helped me.

Some say that the path from inner turmoil begins with an open ear. My ear is open if you care to use it.

Secondly, people have to learn to be honest about a great deal of things--more with themselves than with other people. I find it funny how often the one person in the world someone might want to fool or decieve is himself. We want to believe that we are better than we are. We want to think that we are worth something to everyone and are worth everything to someone. Now, we do in fact have a great deal of worth to a great many people. We just have to find out where that worth lies. Some people want to think that they are worth something to another person in a way that they are not worthwhile in one particular way or another. One example comes to mind as that boy or girl who is in love with another person, and thinks that he or she is the absolute only one for that other person, when that might not be the case.

It helps in these matters to have a person to listen and understand because when we are honest with ourselves in the presence of another, there's no way that we can say to ourselves, "I didn't really say that," or "I didn't really mean it that way." Perhaps that's why confession in the Catholic church is so important. We're not allowed to say, "I do X," and then turn around and say, "Doing X is not so terribly bad."

The more we come to understand these things, the more we come to understand ourselves. And of course, the more we come to understand ourselves means that we are able to love ourselves fully and be what we were made to be. We can be, as Captain Malcolm Reynolds says, "a person, good and whole."

Perhaps I should investigate this teaching/counseling thing a bit more seriously. Maybe it will help me become whole.

Asshole Christian?

My mom told me today that I sometimes sound like an asshole when I'm telling other people about my beliefs. She said that I sounded angry, and that a lot of people wouldn't be willing to listen. I told her I'd rather have people work to forget what I say rather than just blow me off without effort.

Then on the other hand, as I rather heatedly expressed my beef with certain points of...uh, um, post-modern Chrisitan theology, I was told that I was angry, didn't listen, and was like a steam engine that just kept going no matter what anyone did to stop me.

"Silly bitch, your weapons cannot harm me. I am the Juggernaut!"

I suppose I am in fact pretty angry. I also suppose that I am an asshole about certain hurts. I suppose I also have a hard time letting go of those hurts. Wait, check that. I have a very hard time letting go of those hurts.

"I have tried to channel your anger, Raphael, but more remains."

Apologies are hard to make, because I don't really feel responsible for most of it. I don't exactly feel responsible for my anger, or my hurt. I deal with it because it's left on my doorstep, but I don't feel like I did much to generate it in the first place. Maybe I'm denying my role, or maybe I can seriously blame others for what has happened to me.

"Well, I can't blame this one on the White Man. Wait a minute, of course I can!"

Unfortunately, I've got to find a way to express myself so that I don't rub anyone the wrong way. At the same time I've got to get them to actually listen. Maybe it's all a pointless exercise. Maybe I should just stand up, tell it as best I can, and let them sort it out for themselves.

"You were having that dream about making the white people riot again!"
"But Grandad! I was only tellin' the truth!"

Ultimately, I got no clue why I insist on trying to be a Christian. Alicia Kee once asked my why I kept going. I told her I had no other choice. What would I do otherwise? Throw out the only hope I have and live without any, if only to be rid of people that tick me off otherwise? I can't abandon hope. Not real hope. False hope I can do without. In the meantime I'll do the best I can to face the pain and the anger and do my best with it.

"I will face suffering and someday, I will conquer it. And I will do it without false hope."

Communication.

Yesterday morning, when I woke up, I gave some thought to a job in communications my mother had shown me. As I considered what it meant to be a good communicator, I suddenly had in my mind a demonstration on how to show the difference between the statements "God is," and "God exists."


Definition: To exist is to be separate from what is around you.

Statement: One does not have to be separate in order to be.

Example: Imagine a room full of clutter. You want to get from one side of the room to the next. In the middle of the clutter there is a path to get you to where you want to go. A way exists for you to get across the room.

Now imagine instead that the cutter fills the entire room. The room is cluttered with boxes, chairs, tables, and other furniture. There is no path amongst the clutter that is readily seen. A way to get across the room does not exist.

BUT! If you were to climb on top of the tables, chairs, and boxes, you could use them to traverse the room. There is a way to get across the room, it simply does not exist. That is, the pathway is not separate from the clutter in the room.

I'm still working this one out in my head, but that's what I came up with before I was fully awake.

News.

I have a Philips Bodygroom. I tried so hard not to laugh all the way out of the store. If you're wondering why I was laughing so hard, see www.shaveeverywhere.com

I can also monkey vault. I do it rather clumsily, but I don't clip the rail, so I'm square. Now for the refining.

I'm looking for a job in PTC this week, so I will be at my parents' house. I'll be back Friday night or Saturday morning. Maybe sooner depending on how well or poorly the hunt goes.