Family time.

Since the weekend, I've wondered about what's been holding me together these past several years, and what it's going to take to hold me together in the future. During my freshman and sophomore years, I had a family. A group of people my age that all got together and were united. Truly united. We all related to one another in various ways, but we all related to each other just right. My junior year I had a set of close friends, and they were very much like the family experience I had the past two years. There was, however, the added bonus of figuring out and eliminating what it was that made me so anxious and insecure.

Now I want my family back.

I'd love to be able to spend time with them all like we did over the weekend. Scattered across a living room, sitting on sofas, chairs, cushions, and the floor, we enjoyed a meal together. And we also watched a movie. Though the movie wasn't that great to me, at least we were all sitting together watching. Rent had on plot (in my mind), but the characters at least were intriguing and close to one another. I suppose, after a great deal of looking back on it, that the movie stays in my mind because it somehow reminded me of my family--only we're much less complex and not nearly as dramatic.

Those are my people--John, Casey, Patrick, Jennifer, Ginger, Jesse, William, Adrienne, Mac, Mallory, Tim, Alex, and Grace. Some were there from the start, others came along later. But they're all family to me. Now that I've grown so much, I'd like to be around them as we used to be, if only to show them how much I've grown. They helped me grow, and now I want to show them how much I appreciate their time, effort, and patience. They will always be my support, my guides, my comforts, and my joys. And now I want to be more of those things to them, rather than being a wimpering child they have to keep an eye on.

But now that I finally have reached some sort of maturity, it is time most of us went our own ways. I won't be seeing a good many of them with any sort of regularity for a while--if ever again.

I'm not too sure how many people in my family read this, but if they do, it'll be good for them to know that even though I'm silent about their help most of the time, that I do appreciate it. In fact, spending time with them has been some of the most rewarding experiences in my lifetime.

But the question remains: what will I do later on, when I can't see them anymore?