Hooked.

I feel like I've reached a serious "adventuring hook" in my life. An adventuring hook is a term coined in the realm of table top rpgs. An adventuring hook is a device used by game masters to involve their players in the game scenario by appealing to things that are relevant to those players' characters.

GMs often toss out the promise of a good challenge, magical and powerful weaponry, money, and on occasion extends to the uber-nerd some pen-and-paper playmates (so to speak). With these items motivating the player characters, the story is begun and the game is on.

Yesterday I networked my way to an internship opportunity with Mercer University Press. It is an unpaid internship. That's all I really know. I'm going to contact the man in charge of that internship tomorrow and see what he can tell me about it. If it sounds fun, I'm going for it. If it's not fun, there's always grad school.

Grad school application is slow as balls. The contact I have is taking her sweet time getting back to me. She has until the end of the week to turn up some real results for me to go on or I'm paying her a visit in her office.

I saw Grace for a little under 24 hours last weekend. I've never felt more in love with her. It's hard to resist the urge to text-bomb her while she's at work all day. I'm a gushy type. Sue me.

God and I--er, well--I'm having a hard time wondering what He's up to when it comes to me recently. Oddly enough I find myself not caring. I'd rather not stress over my fate anymore, so God can have it. I think that's been the point of all the rigmarole between us for the past few months.

When I imagine what's going on between me and the Almighty I feel like we're sitting at two desks pushed together. We sit with our elbows on the desk surfaces and hands clasped together. Our postures have us leaning forward so that we're touching heads. His eyes look right through me and see everything there is about me. When I look into His eyes I only see what I think I know. There's not much to see in the periphery when I look into God's eyes. There's a flash of white from the beard people tend to dress God in, but there's a lot of big empty serenity. It's like looking out into space through a telescope. I only did that one time and the more I looked, the more I got this incredible feeling that if I pressed my eye any closer to the viewing lens, the telescope would suck me in and fire me into that enormous space.

The more I imagine myself looking into God's eyes, the more I get the idea that if I moved up to the most extreme edge of my seat I'd get sucked right into Him and know everything He knows. It's exhilarating.

I need to attend Mass everyday the same way I need to floss each morning. The Eucharist is about the only time I feel truly connected to God. I feel like Simon when he's talking to Mal.

We're still flying.

That's not much.

It's enough.

So I'm hooked. Hooked on a string of career opportunities, hooked on a romantic relationship that I love like it was new, and hooked on the notion that I possibly am getting closer to God. Now we just roll the dice and see how the numbers come out.