Past few days.

One night I went to bed and in the background of my tiresome mind I found that I have been acting and thinking in a way not unlike the way I was in high school. So I stayed sleep for a few minutes to think over where I was when I stopped acting like I did some 3 or 4 odd years ago. When I went from High School to College I was still wrapping up some personal issues. My self-confidence was waning, I was nearly always grumpy towards myself, and I hated inconvenience. I didn't like people much at all. Then I started to like people, began that steady climb up to the high self-esteem, and began to find myself. Then something happened.

I had a more urgent problem to attend to. I found that people did not like what I thought about what was quickly becoming the central pillar of my life--Christianity. My spiritual side was under attack. So I became angry and embittered towards other Christians and worked to maintain a patient attitude towards them while defending my own position. I survived.

Now that I'm out of college and away from those that would piss me off in matters spiritual, I'm actually mellowing out. I like to talk about Christianity now because I've got no enemies. I'm not angry when I talk about Christianity and I have no intention on making the people I don't see everyday look like fools. So I'm experiencing some freedom there.

With the current so-called crisis over, I would guess that I am returning to the problems that I had very nearly finished. Some bits of them still remain, but I am better equipped to handle them. It's also funny because a lot of the people I knew in high school are becoming increasingly more in touch than they were before.

I don't really know what to think about it.